"Five Things" delivery for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
crystallekil.
Mar. 2nd, 2007 04:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
guest_ageTitle: Five Times JD and Turk Definitely Did Not Make Out
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,060
Pairing: JD/Turk, some Turk/Carla and JD/Elliot
Disclaimer: Not mine. All hail Bill Lawrence.
.one.
“Hey, Turk! Ben taught me this new game! Want to play?”
“Is it better than Toe or Finger?”
“Way better!”
“Okay.”
“Okay, you stand here, and I stand here,” JD said, moving Turk into position. “Now we play.”
“How?” Turk asked.
JD closed his eyes and leaned towards Turk, lips puckered.
“Woah, woah, woah.” Turk said, jumping backwards. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I win!” JD declared, raising his arms high above his head.
“You win at what exactly?”
“Gay chicken,” JD said proudly.
“What the hell is gay chicken?”
“It’s um…a game. That Ben taught me.” JD was less thrilled with his victory now that Turk was staring at him like he’d grown antlers.
“JD…have your patients been sexually harassing you?” Turk asked, completely serious, and JD couldn’t help but mentally picture a pretty blonde patient with chicken pox flirting with him while she scratched and he told her, in a very suave voice, “Don’t scratch. You’ll get pock marks. Shall I rub calomine on you?”
“What? No! It’s a game! Whoever backs away first is the loser!”
“I don’t think there are any winners in a game where even if you don’t chicken out, you still have to make out with a dude.”
Turk shook his head and walked away, and JD suddenly felt really, really confused about what had just happened.
.two.
“More appletinis, please!” JD called to the bartender, who brought him an appletini and Turk a beer.
“Happy birthday, C. Bear,” JD slurred drunkenly as he raised his glass in toast.
“Maybe we should go,” Turk said, gripping JD’s upper arm and guiding him outside.
“But I didn’t even finish my appletini!” JD protested as the cool night air sobered him up slightly.
“I don’t think you need anymore appletinis,” Turk said, as he raised his arm to hail a cab.
He guided JD into the backseat of the first one that stopped, and got in the other side.
“Turk, you don’t look very happy for a birthday boy,” JD said suddenly.
Turk shrugged, and stared out the window.
“Turk,” JD said, turning Turk’s chin to face him with one finger, “I haven’t given you your birthday present yet.”
“We’re almost home, you can give it to me there,” Turk replied.
“It’s not there.”
“Then where is it?”
JD closed his eyes, and leaned towards Turk, who leaned back against the window, out of JD’s reach.
“You’re drunk,” Turk said softly.
“A little,” JD agreed.
“Wouldn’t want you to do anything you’d regret,” Turk said, stepping out of the cab and closing the door, before heading around to the other side to help JD out.
“Wouldn’t regret it,” JD pouted, but took Turk’s hand as he helped him out of the cab.
.three.
“Hey, Turk?”
“What up, JDawg?”
JD pushed Rowdy off his leg. We really need to get him fixed.
“Remember that time in college, when—“
“Shhh!” Turk said, looking around wildly, as though their apartment would suddenly be filled with paparazzi. “Man, why you always got to be bringing that up?”
“I was just thinking about it.”
“Why?”
“Because I think about stuff.”
“Well, stop thinking about me like that.”
“But Turk—“
“No.”
He tasted like peppermint.
.four.
“I can’t believe you’re getting married tomorrow.”
“You’ve said that like…five times.”
“I just…it’s hard to believe. We’re so grown up! Well, you are, anyway.”
“Nah, you’re with Elliot now, dude. Pretty soon, you’ll be hearing wedding bells, too.”
“I don’t think so. You nervous?”
Turk shrugged. “A little.”
“You’ll do great.”
“It’s just…one woman. I mean…wow. One. Forever.”
“Do you love her?”
“Yeah.”
“Then there’s your answer.”
“It’s just…”
“Just what?” JD turned around sideways on the couch to face Turk, who did the same.
“Just…”
And then Turk leaned towards him, and JD’s heartbeat sped up. Turk was close, so close, and their noses crashed together, and OUCH.
JD jumped back, standing up and holding his nose, which had started to bleed, and went to the kitchen for paper towels. Carla would kill them if they got blood stains on their couch.
.five.
The day Isabella was born, JD came to a realization.
Turk had grown out of their friendship.
Sure, they’d always be friends. They didn’t have matching B.F.F. bracelets for nothing.
But it suddenly hit JD that Turk had a family now, and he’d always put that family first. Before their friendship. Before him.
And as ridiculous as it sounded, JD couldn’t help but think, But I was here first.
He watched Turk hold his daughter, beaming with pride, and he wanted to cry, because Isabella was the last nail in the coffin of their friendship, but if he cried, Dr. Cox would make fun of him, and he wasn’t in the mood to put up with yet more abuse from his mentor.
He supposed that his disappointment was evident on his face, because Turk quickly handed the baby back to Carla and dragged JD out of the hallway, and into an empty patient’s room.
“What?” Turk asked, arms crossed over his chest.
“What what?”
“You know what what.”
“What do I know what what?”
“Okay, this is going to get old quick,” Turk said, putting a stop to the ridiculousness of the conversation, and JD sighed at the memory of a time when Turk would’ve thought it was funny. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” JD said, scuffing his toe on the floor.
“JD, something is wrong with you. You’re looking at my daughter like she’s the alien thing from the black lagoon. If it was anyone else looking at my baby like that, I’d have punched them by now. What’s wrong?”
JD looked up, and stared at Turk’s confused and hurt face, and suddenly felt like an idiot. He didn’t want to hurt Turk.
On impulse, he grabbed Turk’s shoulders and pulled him closer, and kissed him on the lips.
“Woah, woah, woah,” Turk said, jumping back, and holding up a hand in the universal sign for ‘Stop.’ “What the hell was that?”
JD stared at Turk for a second longer, then shrugged. “Goodbye, I guess.”
“What? JD, I’m not going anywhere. Is that what this is about?”
JD shook his head. “No. It’s nothing. Just…just forget it. Never happened.”
As JD left the room, he couldn’t help but think, He still tastes like peppermint.
Title: Five Mysteries Veronica Mars Couldn't Solve
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,190
Pairing: Mostly Veronica gen, but some Veronica/Mac, Beaver/Mac, Veronica/Logan, Veronica/Duncan, Veronica/Weevil, Logan/Lilly, Logan/Kendall, hinted!Veronica/Lilly, and...well, just see if you can solve the mystery in the first one.
Disclaimer: Not mine. All hail Rob Thomas.
.one.
As much as Veronica liked to pride herself on her sleuthing skills, occasionally she came across a mystery that, despite all her attempts to make sense of the various clues, she just couldn’t solve. She hated the feeling, of being incompetent at something she was supposedly so skilled at, but some mysteries just baffled her.
The latest took place in Duncan and Logan’s apartment. She’d go over to visit Duncan, and find condoms on the floor under his bed. She’d find empty bottles of chocolate sauce left open on the counter, and chocolate fingerprints on the cabinets, but the ice cream in the freezer remained untouched. Duncan wanted to have sex less and less, and she just couldn’t figure it out.
At first, she thought maybe Logan was fucking Kendall on Duncan’s bed to get back at the two of them. It seemed like something he would do. But then she read in one of her father’s files on Kendall that Kendall had the surgery shortly after she’d married Mr. Casablancas, so she figured they probably weren’t using condoms. And even if they were, that didn't explain Duncan's lack of sexual appetite. Though she still didn’t put it past them to be fucking on Duncan’s bed.
She considered the notion that maybe Duncan was cheating on her, but all her investigations into that theory proved false as well.
Her last theory was that maybe Duncan had just been jerking off a lot lately, and had been using condoms to catch the residue, which would explain the condoms under the bed, and the drastic decrease in his sex drive. But the chocolate finger prints still remained unexplained by this theory, unless she considered the notion that maybe Duncan was licking it off himself in some sort of kinky masturbation foreplay, but she had always found Duncan to be rather inflexible in bed, so she quickly dismissed that.
She finally decided that this was one of the mysteries that she was never going to solve, and if she ever finally did, she probably didn’t want to know the answer anyway, so she eventually just let it go.
.two.
The second mystery Veronica couldn’t solve came shortly after Beaver jumped off the roof on graduation night. She was home alone one night while her father worked late at the office, when she got a knock at the door, and found Mac standing there, soaked from the rain. Even through the rainwater, it was clear that she was crying.
Veronica ushered her inside and offered her some dry clothes, and made her a warm bowl of soup.
“I don’t understand,” she said quietly, taking a sip of her soup and setting it down.
“I know,” Veronica said, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.
“Is it—is it wrong that part of me still loves him?” Mac asked quietly.
“Um…” Veronica wasn’t sure what to reply to that.
“I mean…I know that what he did was terrible. I mean…he raped you, and he killed all those kids, and he blew up the plane and…and I still love him.”
“We all love guys we shouldn’t, I guess,” Veronica said, thinking of all the things Logan had said to her over the years.
“Veronica, I…”
And then Mac’s lips were sliding against hers, still salty and slippery from her tears, and Veronica froze.
“Um…” she said, when Mac finally pulled away. “Um…not that I haven’t…uh…done that before. But, er…”
“I should go,” Mac said, and was out of the apartment before Veronica could think to stop her.
She spent the rest of the night trying to figure out why Mac had kissed her, and more importantly, why she couldn't stop thinking about it.
She finally chalked it up to Life’s Great Mysteries, and gave up.
.three.
Veronica never had much time to watch TV, but she occasionally indulged herself to flip through the channels and see what her peers were watching. After all, she couldn’t make cutting quips about how lame the 09'ers were if she had no idea what it was they were into.
She managed to stop on the newest edition of American Idol, where she was treated to an entire hour of sleezy karaoke bar singers crooning such classics as Hit Me Baby One More Time and Genie in a Bottle. If she had to hear I Will Always Love You sung by one more half-witted, no-talented loser, she was going to poke her own ear drums out.
Why do people watch this stuff? she asked herself.
She finally decided that that was one mystery she’d never solve.
.four.
Weevil had come to her for help. Again. At least this time, it didn’t involve murder, drugs, or jail.
“You want me to what?”
“Tail my grandma,” Weevil repeated. “I think she’s seeing some guy, and I want to kick the ass of the dirty old man that’s scammin’ on my gran.”
“So…your grandma has met someone, and you’ve decided it’s your job to kick his ass?”
“…yes.”
“Any particular reason, or do you just regularly beat up old men? Is that how you get your yayas?”
“Why you always got to be askin’ about my yayas, huh? I think you’re interested in my yayas.”
“So deeply interested,” Veronica replied in dull tones.
“I think you can’t get enough of my yayas.”
“Am I that transparent?” Veronica asked. “I think about your yayas night and day. Mostly when I recite my Top Ten Lists of Things I am Repulsed By.”
“Your words cut me like a knife,” Weevil replied in mock pain, clutching one hand over his heart dramatically. “No, really, V,” he said, in serious tones once again, “can you help me out?”
Veronica sighed, mentally went over her homework list in her head, and decided she could squeeze it in.
“Okay. But you owe me.”
“My yayas are at your service. In uh, every way possible.”
Veronica rolled her eyes and walked away, trying to decide if Weevil really did have some sort of feelings for her, or if all the illicit flirting was his idea of a very good joke.
.five.
For a long time, Veronica didn’t believe in love. After Duncan broke up with her and Lilly died, she just sort of stopped. Instead, she took up the theory that people randomly collided with each other, making minor dents in each other’s character, until they finally died a crumpled, dented mess.
That theory made things easier. Made life tolerable. She could look at Duncan and not cry over lost love, or how seeing him made her think of Lilly. She could see Logan’s miserable face and not feel sorry for him, because if love didn’t exist, then he never loved Lilly, and he’d be fine in a day or two.
An absence of love in life made things easier.
By the time she finally solves the mystery of who murdered Lilly Kane, and Logan knocks on her door in the middle of the night, she’s got a whole new mystery to solve.
Love was suddenly back in her life, and it was far more confusing than anything she’d ever faced before.
Crys, if you still want the HP one, I'm gonna need a more specific prompt, 'cause I can't come up with anything.
Everyone else, yours are up next. I'm just going in order of how I received them.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-03-02 02:31 pm (UTC)That was gorgeous, dear!
no subject
Date: 2007-03-02 02:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-02 03:28 pm (UTC)for the hp one, use hermione. i was going to pick her originally, but then i figured it would be easier for you if you could pick your own char. so: "five things that never happened to hermione granger during her years at hogwarts (and for good reason)."
i want to hear more about weevil's yayas
no subject
Date: 2007-03-02 03:39 pm (UTC)No, really. There was pain involved as I typed it. My fingers tried to seize up in protest.
Mkay. Hmmm...that will take some thinking, but I think I can do it. For some reason, the VM one came easier than the Jurk one did, and I still can't figure out why.
*snort* Weevil's yayas make me wanna lala.
Ooooh, yeah, I said it. Hee.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-03 09:45 pm (UTC)I even loved the sappy LoVe. God, that sounded so weird (for me). See .. you're good.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-03 10:12 pm (UTC)I miss old school VM. Well, seasons 1 & 2. I quit watching mid-season 3 because I lost all faith in the show. That, and Rob Thomas's transformation into a gigantic vagina.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-05 12:47 am (UTC)HE DID. DARN HIM.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-05 01:55 am (UTC)FUCK YOU ROB THOMAS! FUCK YOU RIGHT IN THE GIANT PUSSY YOU HAVE BECOME!
no subject
Date: 2007-03-05 02:33 am (UTC)I know! It stood out. Now it's like ... eh.
Wow! You've really got some rage there!
no subject
Date: 2007-03-05 02:50 am (UTC)Ryan/Seth was the first ever OTP that I was into from the very start. I watched when the very first episode aired.
So I got a little pissy when they didn't end up together. I mean...when I got into Buffy...I knew that Willow and Tara got together, so I wasn't too chuffed when she and Xander didn't end up together. (Plus, I ended up having Willow/Tara as my second Buffy OTP, second only to Warren/Andrew, so that was nice, too.) But when I started watching The O.C....call me crazy, but I honestly thought that in the end, Josh Schwartz would let them finally get together, and he didn't. So I'm still angry with him, too. HMPH.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-05 07:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-05 08:54 am (UTC)So call me, but I honestly thought it would happen. I mean...really deep-down thought "Yep, last episode, they're going to get together."
I even have an audio interview with Adam somewhere where the interviewer was asking him about Ryan/Seth and he was like "At this point, they're past romance. They just need to get it on."
I mean, when the ACTORS are saying shit like that, then it needs to fucking HAPPEN!
Stupid Josh. Hmph.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-05 06:03 pm (UTC)God, he is so funny. I'm laughing through the tears of bitter dissapointment.
Like how the Jack & Daniel actors from SG1 are are "We are so gay" when they talk about their characters (and much funnier stuff that I've forgotten ... le sigh.