Buffy the Vampire Slayer FanVid

[guest_age]

Title: "Always"
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Implied Warren/Andrew, mostly just about the Troika in general.
Song Used: "Always" by Saliva
Details: .mp4 format, plays in QuickTime, iTunes, and VLC Player.
Summary: After Warren's death, Andrew continues to remember him in a positive light. Jonathan tries to make him remember the darker side of their former leader. The memories that Jonathan forces him to recall are too painful for Andrew, so when The First shows up wearing a Warren-shaped disguise, Andrew's more than ready to do what it says. And to kill Jonathan. Anything to make the memories stop.
Download (Right Click + Save Target as, or Option + Click if you're on a Mac like me): Always (59.5 MB)

Want to know the words to the song? Lyrics

I hear a voice say "Don't be so blind"
It's telling me all these things
That you would probably hide
Am I your one and only desire
Am I the reason you breathe
Or am I the reason you cry?

Always, always, always, always, always, always
I just can't live without you

I love you
I hate you
I can't get around you
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you

(Done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you)

I feel like you don't want me around
I guess I'll pack all my things
I guess I'll see you around
It's all been bottled up until now
As I walk out your door
All I can hear is the sound

Always, always, always, always, always, always
I just can't live without you

I love you
I hate you
I can't get around you
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you

I love you
I hate you
I can't live without you

I left my head around your heart
Why would you tear my world apart?

Always, always, always, always

I see the blood all over your hands
Does it make you feel more like a man
Was it all just a part of your plan
The pistol's shakin' in my hands
And all I hear is the sound

I love you
I hate you
I can't live without you
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you

I love you
I hate you
I can't live without you
I love you
I hate you
I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I pick myself off the floor
And now I'm done with you

Always
Always
Always

Hark! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the notes, and they are long!

Detailed Notes

This is only the second time I've ever done "vid notes" before, so bear with me here.

Let's start with song choice.

I picked this song with a lot of things in mind, but particularly this lyric: I see the blood all over your hands | does it make you feel more like a man | was it all just a part of your plan | the pistol's shakin' in my hands | and all I hear is the sound

That part really spoke to me of both Warren and Andrew. The original plan was to either overlay or split screen the scene where Warren shoots Buffy and kills Tara with the scene where Andrew stabs Jonathan. However, upon attempting to do that, I found that the affect was prettier in my head than in actuality, so I abandoned it. But we'll get to that later. What I mean is, that the song really spoke of those two characters to me, and not only for that verse.

Andrew was determined to remember Warren as a good person, despite all evidence to the contrary, and the song saying, "Always, always, always, always, always," etc was referencing that. Because in his storytelling little head, he will always have those good memories. And then Jonathan's saying, "No, wait, remember? He was actually something of a bastard," and as the song goes on and Jonathan brings up more and more of the bad memories, Andrew gets angrier and angrier at him. Then The First shows up wearing Warren's skin (not like he's using it...okay, that was a bad joke) and starts telling him to kill Jonathan, and Andrew agrees to do it because he wants the bad memories to stop. He wants to go back to remembering Warren as a good person (always, always, always...) and in his mind, he won't be able to until Jonathan is dead.

Which snaps us back to the "present," in which Jonathan tells Andrew he's pathetic and calls him Warren's "girlfriend." This is the final blow that pushes Andrew to make the decision to kill him. Jonathan then makes him remember Warren shooting Buffy and Tara, and it's at that moment that Andrew stabs him, because that's the moment that he can't explain away. Katrina? Accident. Plotting against Jonathan? Jonathan wasn't loyal. Andrew, in his storytelling brain, can make excuses for all of these things, but the moment that Warren shot Buffy and killed Tara? He can't explain that away. That wasn't an accident. That was Warren's choice, and instead of rescuing Andrew and/or Jonathan from jail, he chose to get a gun and go to Buffy's house. That's the one thing that Jonathan could bring up that Andrew couldn't explain away.

So he kills Jonathan.

Cut to Willow finding him and bringing him back to Buffy's house, where he is tied up, slapped twice, and given death threats on a daily basis. Not too good for him, huh?

Which brings us to the final scene, in which Andrew is finally forced to stop telling stories and own up to not only what he did to Jonathan, but what Warren did, both to him and others. He tries, in vain, one last happy memory, Warren holding his hand in Life Serial to block it out, but the memory of Tara dying comes through, and he finally accepts the truth and embraces reality. His tears fall onto the seal, and it stops being all glowy.

So...that's the plot. But I would like to think that that much is obvious from watching the video.

Okay, so...some other notes.

Andrew's "happy memories" are in a sort of de-saturated look, because they're not vivid, full-color like the present, but they're not dark either. They're tinted with color because he sees them through the eyes of love. (If you're one of the few who are still holding onto the illusion that Andrew wasn't in love with Warren, then I turn your attention to Seeing Red, this line in particular:

Andrew: (crying) How could he do this to me? He promised we'd be together, but ... he was just using me. He never really loved- (catching himself) ...hanging out with us. (Taken from TwizTV.com)

You're free to try and explain that away, or for that matter, explain why every time The First visits Andrew as Warren, it tells him he's "looking good," and generally just tells him that he's hot and The First wants to sex him up. But the point is, Andrew was in love with Warren. Plain and simple. There's no refuting it. So let's move onto what this has to do with the vid.

Because Andrew sees his memories through the eyes of love, they are tinted with color, yet still not bright and vivid because A) they're still the past, and B) even Andrew's storytelling abilities aren't strong enough to create an entire happy little world in which Warren was a Very Good Guy.

Jonathan's memories, however, the negative ones, are not hindered by such problems. He wasn't in love with Warren, and so he's able to see the truth. His memories are black and white, completely devoid of tint, because he's not trying to tilt his memories one way or the other. He's telling the truth, just the facts, ma'am, and not trying to tell stories.

And in the end, it's these black and white memories that push Andrew over the edge to kill him at the urging of The First dressed up as Warren.

***

Finally, as an aside note, this is my first vid in the BtvS fandom, and my first video on my new MacBook. I previously used WMM, and this was my first try at using iMovie. I'd appreciate feedback on how I did with both. Thank you.

Comments

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

No, actually, I'm so thankful that you noticed that! I cut away at that point precisely for a reason! I made the decision to cut away there, because the theory was that Andrew was trying to make the memories stop by killing Jonathan, so he stabbed him at exactly that moment, exactly before he saw the blood spatter onto Willow and Tara die, because that was as far as he would let the memory go, once he saw the window break, he was like "STOP!" and stabbed him. And then I picked up at exactly then in the second to last shot because it's him finally letting the truth come through and realizing that whether he loved Warren or not, Warren was something of a psychotic, evil bastard, and he has to learn to live with that.

But oh, you have no idea just how happy it made me that you noticed that. Seriously, that was one of those things that I sat here thinking about for hours trying to decide just what frame to cut away on, because I had to think "How far will Andrew let this memory go before he stabs Jonathan? What's his breaking point?" and I finally decided it was the shot of the glass breaking.

Seriously, my day? Is made. Thank you! ♥