Feminism: Why Insane Radicals Shouldn't Be Allowed in the Club

[guest_age]

I haven't posted in a few days, but it wasn't because I was striking (I'm still not even sure what that whole thing is about). I just didn't have much to say. But I do now.

This post was brought to my attention recently, and I'm really having a hard time keeping my mouth shut. For those of you who can't be arsed into reading it, basically this woman, a radical feminist, claims that Firefly is anti-feminist and that Joss Whedon is a rapist.

I'm sure you're expecting me to be up in arms over her insulting Joss or something, but honestly, I couldn't care less about that aspect of it. What I take issue with is her definition of rape:

I believe in the radical feminist definition of rape. That is that men who pressure women into sex are rapists. That women who are pressured are not freely consenting and are therefore being raped. [...] I would argue that most 'sex' between men and women, in the contemporary 'sex-positive', pornographic, male-supremacist culture, is rape.

As someone who was violently raped when she was eight years old, I am offended at her definition of rape. If "Oh, honey, not tonight...well, okay," is considered rape, then we're going to have to invent a whole new word for what happened to me and what happens to millions of other women around the world.

I posted a response to her post, but she has her journal set to screen comments until she chooses to unscreen them, so I am posting my reply here on this journal as well because I am so...unbelievably offended and angry right now that I feel like I have to do something.

Please know that while I am a Joss Whedon fan, I am not making this comment as someone who is trying to defend his work. I am making this comment as someone who was raped when she was eight years old by her older brother.

I won't go into the details of what happened to me, but it was violent, it was against my will, and though I tried to stop it, I couldn't. It was the most helpless and, more importantly, hopeless that I have ever felt in my life. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone in this world, man, woman, or gender neutral.

What happened to me was rape.

Your definition of rape:

I believe in the radical feminist definition of rape. That is that men who pressure women into sex are rapists. That women who are pressured are not freely consenting and are therefore being raped. There have been a few discussions recently in the rad fem blogosphere debating whether all male initiated sex is rape, given that women are politically, socially and economically subordinate to men. So, in my understanding of Joss Whedon as a rapist is hinges on my definition of rape. I would argue that most 'sex' between men and women, in the contemporary 'sex-positive', pornographic, male-supremacist culture, is rape.

While I respect that you have the right to believe this, I have to say that as someone who was a rape victim, I am offended by it.

There is a very large difference between what happened to me and the things that happen to other rape victims that are even worse, and "No, honey, not tonight…well, all right." Do you see the difference?

What your definition of rape does is trivialize what happened to me and other victims around the world. If that is rape, then you'd have to invent a whole new word for what happened to me.

I'm not going to try and persuade you to change your mind, because it seems quite clear that you have formed your own opinions and don't intend to change, but as a victim of rape, I am appalled and offended at your definition of rape, and the subsequent trivialization of my experience that it causes.











I'm not trying to start drama or whatever, but as someone who was a victim of sexual assault, I feel like...like I have to say something to this girl, or no one else will.

And what's more, she's saying that any male/female sex is rape, just by definition. And that it is impossible for a woman to love a man without it being degradation.

Sorry, but that's bullshit.

And don't even get me started on how she claims that no white man can be in a relationship with a black woman without abusing her. Racist, much?

The real gem is when she insists that Joss's wife must only be staying around for the money or "patriarchal concepts of love," but money isn't as important as, "self-integrity, self-esteem, love (sister/lesbian/gynaffectionate love), etc." She's basically saying that the only valid love is between two women, and that male/female love doesn't exist.

It's women like her that give actual feminism--which is about equality, not man-hating--a bad name.

I'm sorry, I realize this post is long and preachy, but as someone who is a victim of rape, I am offended and enraged by her comments, and I couldn't not say something about it.

P.S. I'm making this post public, because I'm not going to be accused of hiding behind a friendslock. If someone wants to argue with me, then bring it.

Edit: Hahaha! Looks like someone isn't above lolcating this cunt.

Edit #2: dancinbutterfly's post about this chick can be found here. She addresses a lot of the things I didn't, and I highly recommend you check it out.

Comments

[gala-apples.livejournal.com]

it's one of those *slowly tilting head sideways, as if maybe brain at an angle makes people more comprehensible* "are you on crack?" moments. honestly, that's insane in a 'what the fuck is wrong with you' kind of way.

i mean, i don't even know where to start arguing. when a person like that is just soooo fucking stupid and crazy, where's the common ground that you can start a dialogue on?

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

There is nothing wrong with feminism, because true feminism is about equality, and I very much support that. But this whole "women are better than men, we must separate ourselves from them, if you're not a lesbian, you're letting men oppress you" bullshit is just...GRAH.

There is a difference between lesbianism and feminism. One can be one without being the other. And it's insulting to both to imply that they're inseparable.

And it's insulting to those of us who have experienced true sexual assault to compare it to that whole, "not tonight...well, okay" thing.

Honestly, I just...I'm really freaking angry at this girl. My blood is practically boiling. She's insulting me and belittling my experience, and she's so batshit crazy that I can't argue with her rationally.

Argh.

P.S. You would be okay with a boy staying in our room, right? Because Annika and I have a guy friend who's considering going, and I thought I remembered you saying you were okay with having a guy roommate at Terminus. I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable, though. :)

[gala-apples.livejournal.com]

hah! i can't remember the last time i slept with only women in a sleepover. as in, for the last three years, i either have boys and girls, or just boys snuggling up to me. and my darling best friend likes to sleep naked. so no, not in particular uncomfortable with boys. or their junk :D

is he into fandom, or is it just the general experience he's into? for a second or two vince and jason thought it sounded like a good idea to come with me. then i'm like "ticket 140, hotel 300, bus fare 300" and they decided it wasn't as good as they thought.

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

LoL, well, he's gay, so no worries there. :)

Well, he was, but he like...just left because he doesn't have time for it anymore, but then...Annika and I aren't really in the fandom anymore either, but this will be the second con I've gone to since I left. Even if I don't write it anymore, I still love the books and the fans, you know? So that's kinda similar to him.

But should be fun. SO EXCITING! :-D

[gala-apples.livejournal.com]

yeah, my fandom love has died quite a bit. i'm all about xmen right now. writing my first ever multi-chaptered fics. i only write chapters for nano, so you can tell my love is true. lol.

lol, i kinda figured the gay thing. or rather, assumed. i haven't met straight men in like 2 years. literally, since i've left high school, i haven't talked to a single straight boy. it's the least depressing deficit in the world; the deficit of straight people.

oh, i'm super excited about it all. the only thing i'm confused about, is on the terminus website they list the panels and booths that were accepted. but say i want to go to discussion A and C. when are they? the website doesn't say when anything is scheduled. the only way that could work is if everything is just constant. which makes sense for drabble booths, but for "dumbledore is gay, how does this change fandom" or "epilogue what epilogue" discussions, it's not feasible for them to be going all day.

also, i finally found a person that wants to play Magic with me. *squee!*

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

Well, this is how they did it at Lumos. On the first day of the conference, at about 9 AM, you go down to where it's being held and you wait in line to check in. You tell them your name, show them some ID, and you get your name badge, which you wear around your neck on a lanyard during the conference, and a little totebag that has things like pencils, adverts for local places, etc, and a booklet about the conference. Inside the booklet is the schedule of panels for every day of the conference. And then you just pick which ones you want to go to off of that schedule.

That's how it was at Lumos.