First of all, I am sorry that such a horrible thing happened to you and I am glad that you are a true feminist and have overcome that event and grown into a strong young adult. Unfortunately, things of that nature happen all too often and the horrors are no less because the actions are more common place than they should be.
While I absolutely completely agree with your overall assessment of this person and her rants, I have to disagree that being talked into or verbally forced into having sex isn't horrible. It is not always within a long-term relationship ("No, honey, not tonight...") but can be by complete strangers, friends, or significant others. As someone who went through that herself, I do not label it "rape" since rape is defined (by Merriam Webster) as "to seize and take away by force; to despoil" and force usually implies physical force. However, that shouldn't devalue or take away from the legitimacy of wrongness involved in being verbally convinced to take part in something one really does not want any part in.
I do not think this woman has any basis for most of her arguments, but I did want to express my opinion on how strongly I feel about being used and hurt in a physical, emotional, and sexual capacity. Although I was never physically restrained, being verbally forced into having sex hurt, confused, and broke me.
Luckily, now, I have moved past that and am in a place where I can defend myself much better. I hope if the situation ever occurs again, I will be both physically and emotionally strong enough to fend off harmful events.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2008-03-26 02:02 pm (UTC)While I absolutely completely agree with your overall assessment of this person and her rants, I have to disagree that being talked into or verbally forced into having sex isn't horrible. It is not always within a long-term relationship ("No, honey, not tonight...") but can be by complete strangers, friends, or significant others. As someone who went through that herself, I do not label it "rape" since rape is defined (by Merriam Webster) as "to seize and take away by force; to despoil" and force usually implies physical force. However, that shouldn't devalue or take away from the legitimacy of wrongness involved in being verbally convinced to take part in something one really does not want any part in.
I do not think this woman has any basis for most of her arguments, but I did want to express my opinion on how strongly I feel about being used and hurt in a physical, emotional, and sexual capacity. Although I was never physically restrained, being verbally forced into having sex hurt, confused, and broke me.
Luckily, now, I have moved past that and am in a place where I can defend myself much better. I hope if the situation ever occurs again, I will be both physically and emotionally strong enough to fend off harmful events.