Feminism: Why Insane Radicals Shouldn't Be Allowed in the Club

[guest_age]

I haven't posted in a few days, but it wasn't because I was striking (I'm still not even sure what that whole thing is about). I just didn't have much to say. But I do now.

This post was brought to my attention recently, and I'm really having a hard time keeping my mouth shut. For those of you who can't be arsed into reading it, basically this woman, a radical feminist, claims that Firefly is anti-feminist and that Joss Whedon is a rapist.

I'm sure you're expecting me to be up in arms over her insulting Joss or something, but honestly, I couldn't care less about that aspect of it. What I take issue with is her definition of rape:

I believe in the radical feminist definition of rape. That is that men who pressure women into sex are rapists. That women who are pressured are not freely consenting and are therefore being raped. [...] I would argue that most 'sex' between men and women, in the contemporary 'sex-positive', pornographic, male-supremacist culture, is rape.

As someone who was violently raped when she was eight years old, I am offended at her definition of rape. If "Oh, honey, not tonight...well, okay," is considered rape, then we're going to have to invent a whole new word for what happened to me and what happens to millions of other women around the world.

I posted a response to her post, but she has her journal set to screen comments until she chooses to unscreen them, so I am posting my reply here on this journal as well because I am so...unbelievably offended and angry right now that I feel like I have to do something.

Please know that while I am a Joss Whedon fan, I am not making this comment as someone who is trying to defend his work. I am making this comment as someone who was raped when she was eight years old by her older brother.

I won't go into the details of what happened to me, but it was violent, it was against my will, and though I tried to stop it, I couldn't. It was the most helpless and, more importantly, hopeless that I have ever felt in my life. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone in this world, man, woman, or gender neutral.

What happened to me was rape.

Your definition of rape:

I believe in the radical feminist definition of rape. That is that men who pressure women into sex are rapists. That women who are pressured are not freely consenting and are therefore being raped. There have been a few discussions recently in the rad fem blogosphere debating whether all male initiated sex is rape, given that women are politically, socially and economically subordinate to men. So, in my understanding of Joss Whedon as a rapist is hinges on my definition of rape. I would argue that most 'sex' between men and women, in the contemporary 'sex-positive', pornographic, male-supremacist culture, is rape.

While I respect that you have the right to believe this, I have to say that as someone who was a rape victim, I am offended by it.

There is a very large difference between what happened to me and the things that happen to other rape victims that are even worse, and "No, honey, not tonight…well, all right." Do you see the difference?

What your definition of rape does is trivialize what happened to me and other victims around the world. If that is rape, then you'd have to invent a whole new word for what happened to me.

I'm not going to try and persuade you to change your mind, because it seems quite clear that you have formed your own opinions and don't intend to change, but as a victim of rape, I am appalled and offended at your definition of rape, and the subsequent trivialization of my experience that it causes.











I'm not trying to start drama or whatever, but as someone who was a victim of sexual assault, I feel like...like I have to say something to this girl, or no one else will.

And what's more, she's saying that any male/female sex is rape, just by definition. And that it is impossible for a woman to love a man without it being degradation.

Sorry, but that's bullshit.

And don't even get me started on how she claims that no white man can be in a relationship with a black woman without abusing her. Racist, much?

The real gem is when she insists that Joss's wife must only be staying around for the money or "patriarchal concepts of love," but money isn't as important as, "self-integrity, self-esteem, love (sister/lesbian/gynaffectionate love), etc." She's basically saying that the only valid love is between two women, and that male/female love doesn't exist.

It's women like her that give actual feminism--which is about equality, not man-hating--a bad name.

I'm sorry, I realize this post is long and preachy, but as someone who is a victim of rape, I am offended and enraged by her comments, and I couldn't not say something about it.

P.S. I'm making this post public, because I'm not going to be accused of hiding behind a friendslock. If someone wants to argue with me, then bring it.

Edit: Hahaha! Looks like someone isn't above lolcating this cunt.

Edit #2: dancinbutterfly's post about this chick can be found here. She addresses a lot of the things I didn't, and I highly recommend you check it out.

Comments

[bohemu.livejournal.com]

Dude, I'm on board. *starts planning a symbol/flag for it*

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

There really should be some sort of banner or flag or symbol thing, if only so that we could have a symbol of our awesomeness.

[gala-apples.livejournal.com]

hah! i can't remember the last time i slept with only women in a sleepover. as in, for the last three years, i either have boys and girls, or just boys snuggling up to me. and my darling best friend likes to sleep naked. so no, not in particular uncomfortable with boys. or their junk :D

is he into fandom, or is it just the general experience he's into? for a second or two vince and jason thought it sounded like a good idea to come with me. then i'm like "ticket 140, hotel 300, bus fare 300" and they decided it wasn't as good as they thought.

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

LoL, well, he's gay, so no worries there. :)

Well, he was, but he like...just left because he doesn't have time for it anymore, but then...Annika and I aren't really in the fandom anymore either, but this will be the second con I've gone to since I left. Even if I don't write it anymore, I still love the books and the fans, you know? So that's kinda similar to him.

But should be fun. SO EXCITING! :-D

[gala-apples.livejournal.com]

yeah, my fandom love has died quite a bit. i'm all about xmen right now. writing my first ever multi-chaptered fics. i only write chapters for nano, so you can tell my love is true. lol.

lol, i kinda figured the gay thing. or rather, assumed. i haven't met straight men in like 2 years. literally, since i've left high school, i haven't talked to a single straight boy. it's the least depressing deficit in the world; the deficit of straight people.

oh, i'm super excited about it all. the only thing i'm confused about, is on the terminus website they list the panels and booths that were accepted. but say i want to go to discussion A and C. when are they? the website doesn't say when anything is scheduled. the only way that could work is if everything is just constant. which makes sense for drabble booths, but for "dumbledore is gay, how does this change fandom" or "epilogue what epilogue" discussions, it's not feasible for them to be going all day.

also, i finally found a person that wants to play Magic with me. *squee!*

[paraka]

Well, I'm glad you've at least managed to come out of it stronger.

I mean, hey, I joke sometimes that I see everyone as inherently bisexual, but the truth of the matter is, heterosexuality is important for the procreation of the species.
Yeah, I sometimes joke that homosexuality is Gods way of trying to stop our out of control birth rate, but we'd be in a really bad place were everyone homosexual.
Also, I was checking out metafandom, and I saw a link to this, something written by a friend of this chick, who is talking about how slash fanfic is evil and oppresses women, and this woman replied:
As to why women, gay, straight and bisexual, write slash fiction I think something I read recently really help clarify it for me. In anticlimax ,Sheila Jeffreys talked about a woman who, as a coping strategy for living with a violent, abusive husband, learnt to have orgasms whil being raped by her husband.
I think slash operates on the same principle. If women are going to be raped (metaphorically) by male supremecy day in and day out, when male supremacy is the air you breathe and the water you drink, then you learn to wring whatever pleasure you can from being raped. Slash is women wringing pleasure from their social and political powerlessness.
I just... *handwavey* what do you *say* to that? *God*.

Mandi and I were joking that we were going to start an "equalist" movement complete with manifestos, mission statements, and a website.
I know, I'm tracking the comments on this post, so had read it. I would totally be in on it :P Do we get badges? I want a badge!

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

Well, this is how they did it at Lumos. On the first day of the conference, at about 9 AM, you go down to where it's being held and you wait in line to check in. You tell them your name, show them some ID, and you get your name badge, which you wear around your neck on a lanyard during the conference, and a little totebag that has things like pencils, adverts for local places, etc, and a booklet about the conference. Inside the booklet is the schedule of panels for every day of the conference. And then you just pick which ones you want to go to off of that schedule.

That's how it was at Lumos.

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

LoL, we're thinking of making up a symbol or a flag or something, like a little banner for everyone's UI pages or something. Just cause...we need to unite.

Dude, I'm into slash because I find it hot, end of story. Sheesh! This chick is just...insane. *sigh*

[thechinesecurse.livejournal.com]

I came here to let you know how much I appreciated seeing your comment on that post. I didn't feel it appropriate to reply to you there as my opinions would fall in the category of those the OP finds "banworthy". (Unfortunately I know a few very decent males, thus am unable to indiscriminately hate the entire gender. My bad.) In particular, that trivialisation of violent rape is something I find very offensive as well, so...yeah. *cough* Appreciated.

[tinylegacies.livejournal.com]

I saw your comment on her post (and was somewhat surprised, but pleased that she actually unscreened it, though I notice that she didn't bother replying).

Anyway, I cruised over to your journal to thank you for sharing a difficult part of yourself to make a point. I don't know if it will do any good for the OP, but perhaps some of the people who are agreeing with her will see it and think twice.

[chuckro.livejournal.com]

Same here. Good job and getting in a comment that actually challenges her misandrist worldview (which hurts both genders).

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Hell yeah! I nominate you head of the club so we can kick out this wanker. She's not a feminist, she's a sexist pig. An insensitive, self-important, sexist pig. Who stepped on the toes of anyone who has actually experienced the suffering she trivializes. Or those who might, you know, enjoy heterosexual penetrative sex (omg, they could even be the same people!) BUT GOD FORBID it be with a woman of color. ::SEETHES::

Thank you for calling her out on her privileged BS. Because that's what it is. Someone assuming they've got the sis-tah pow-ah that allows them to declare feminism is what they say it is. God.

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I doubt she'd have unscreened your comment, anyway. She seems to be only unscreening those who agree with her, or those who ask her a direct question that she wants to respond to. I'm honestly surprised mine made the cut. *eyeroll*

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm surprised she unscreened it, too. Most of the ones she's unscreened have been ones that agree with her, so it really shocks me that she unscreened mine. A reply might've been nice. I'd like to see what she has to say to defend her definition to someone who's been through the real thing. But I digress.

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

I know, exactly! I mean, I like girls as much as the next person. I find them sexy, I've been in a relationship with one, and so on and so forth. But at the same time, I've also been in relationships with men that I hold just as equal. We're all people, honestly! We should all be working towards equality, not glorifying one gender over the other. It's maddening.

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

I think the problem is that we still see the world as divided, men against women, when it shouldn't be. Every person on earth, man, woman, black, white, gay, straight, and everyone in between, we should all be working towards equality for everyone, and treating each other as equals. So it's really maddening to see this girl hiding behind a mask that's supposed to support that, when really she's preaching hate. Ugh.

[bohemu.livejournal.com]

We should look into this. Hmm.

[dancinbutterfly.livejournal.com]

fun fact - dissenter and _allecto_? ARE FRIENDS. from what i understand they work together to put out spinning spinsters. Seriously. I made the grave mistake of wandering to her website where she is pimping SS out. *vomits the two of them*

Listen, allecto claims to be ANTI-SEX. how can you take that seriously?

[paraka]

Yeah, I saw that they were friends. It makes sense, because you'd have to have similarly crazy people around you, telling you that you're smart and oh so revolutionary to be able to come up with the crap they go on about. Ug.

Listen, allecto claims to be ANTI-SEX. how can you take that seriously?
They seem to be anti *everything*. The start off sounding, not too crazy, listing things like mysogeny, and prostitution, but move on to pronography of any kind and, wait for it, *marriage*. I hadn't read sex, but to be honest, I'm really not surprised. The fact that she thinks the majority of sex that occurs out there is rape (any male initiated sex, and heterosexual sex in general!) really makes me wonder how she can have any positive views on sex.

[paraka]

Dude, I'm into slash because I find it hot, end of story.
And I think that's a large part of where the confusion comes from. She just can't picture men being hot, so thinks we're trying to *control* our suffering by making it ours... or some crap like that. Whatever. They're all batshit crazy over there.

*pulls out special icon*

[sinisteragent.livejournal.com]

I wandered past the post in question and your reply restored my faith in human sanity. The fact that some people were actively agreeing with her barking mad propaganda made want to weep.

Thanks for replying to her - people who cry 'rape' at absolutely everything really do women no favours.

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

people who cry 'rape' at absolutely everything really do women no favours

Exactly. It's stuff like this that makes it hard to get a conviction on the real thing. *sigh*

[tithenai.livejournal.com]

Hello,

I just wanted to thank you so, so much for what you said on that woman's journal. I reacted exactly the same way to her definition of rape, but couldn't bring myself to get into a flame war with her, particularly because -- much as I hate to say this -- I felt that, not having been a victim of rape, I didn't have any right to. You very eloquently said everything I wanted to say to a woman with a medieval arrow-slit for a brain, and I'm grateful for it. I'm so sorry for what you had to live through, but I want you to know how much I admire the fact that, in spite of that, you'll point out a vicious, irrational spew-fest for what it is. Frankly, you rock.

And I'm so sharing that macro with the world.

[thecolourclear.livejournal.com]

My reply (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v137/atticusfinch/randomness/Untitled-1.gif) was far less elegant. I was so upset my boyfriend practically had to pry me from the laptop and then I was a nervous wreck the rest of the night.

So thank you, for at least saying it in a way that made her unscreen it (she's now gone 'friend's only' reply to comments, so also thank you for writing it in time).

[guest-age.livejournal.com]

Yeah, me, too. I was just so...unbelievably angry at her.

I read through some of the other comments, and you and I weren't the only ones who brought this point up to her. And the few she did deign to reply to, she basically told them to fuck off and complain about it on their own journals, without ever addressing the actual issue.

If you think about it, that's kind of even more insulting than what she did in the first place. Not only is she saying, "I'm going to trivialize what happened to you," she's also adding, "And I'm not even going to give you a decent explanation of why I feel that way in the first place." I also believe there's an undertone of, "Neener neener neener," in there somewhere, too.

Point being, the best thing we can do is just ignore her, because clearly she's clinically insane. (If she's allowed to make broad statements about me and my experiences, then I'm damn well going to do the same to her.)